


I've got a bone to pick with you (And also a bone to share later, if you know what I mean)

by ThatOneGirlBehindYou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Natasha Romanov & Pepper Potts Friendship, Nudity, Shapeshifting, Werewolves, Wolves, implied future relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 04:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGirlBehindYou/pseuds/ThatOneGirlBehindYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So? Are you ok or not?" </p><p>He'd go for a dramatic rant again, but he's lying on his side on the floor of a subway car practically cuddling with the most annoying human he´s ever met, right next to an elder woman cooing and throwing him chicken strips, and he's running out of pride. "Do I look ok?"</p><p>"I'd say you look damn fine, but I'm not sure on where that ranks in the bestiality scale since you're a wolf, or if it gets automatically annulled since we're technically both animals."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've got a bone to pick with you (And also a bone to share later, if you know what I mean)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wnnbdarklord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wnnbdarklord/gifts).



> My gift for the Frostiron Fest  
> Also, for those interested, my headcanon for Steve in this is a Husky-Retriever mix

Looking back on it, he thinks as he crouches in the depths of a jungle gym (right on a puddle of mud and orange soda, because that is just his luck) he should have seen this coming. Of course it had seemed unlikely enough at first because who on Earth would think an appropriate punishment for a psychotic alien was binding him to the group of mortals that had gotten him into the time-out zone in the first place?

The answer is apparently Odin.

No one had believed it at first, like... Fury wouldn't let it happen, right? But well, as it turned out, Fury had been much too eager to let experts have a go at Loki's magic, so... New roomie it was.

But he's going too far back. After all, the _real_ problem had started approximately six months after the asgardian-shaped nuke had been forcefully shoved into a bedroom in the tower.

\--

"Just what are you doing now, Rudolph?" He asks. There´s no real reason for him to be here, other than the fact that Jarvis had informed him Loki was doing something and he´d made it his personal goal to be a pain in the ass for the god.

Loki looks at him from over his shoulder.

"Just why are you so obsessed with what I do and don't do?" Tony sticks his tongue out, and the god rolls his eyes before looking back to whatever he's doing. "I'm bored."

"Well, maybe you wouldn't be so bored if you did something asides from eating all my food."

"What should I do, Stark? House chores? Stare wistfully at the city?"

"Fury made that clear. Maybe if you didn't spend all the missions sitting in the corner and trash talking us you could get some leverage." He doesn´t mention _the incidents_ , because he´s pretty sure it won´t end up well with Loki. So yes, that alien dragon monster that had tried to use Thor as a chewtoy had blown up a second later, but Bruce had said it had probably been a severe allergic reaction to Earth´s atmosphere. And yes, that boulder that would have turned the suit into a nice red and gold coffin had bounced harmlessly off him and he could´ve sworn he´d seen a green flash just before it happened, but come on, taking adrenaline into account and everything it had probably been just a hallucination. They´re probably just coincidences. Unless of course Loki´s planning something much worse for all of them an in that case he certainly doesn´t want to think about it.

"Maybe if I cared about your child's play... Leave me alone, Stark, I need to concentrate."

"Which brings us full circle. What are you doing? I thought you weren't allowed any magic."

"I doubt you'd understand." Loki answers, and the smugness in his voice is enough so that Tony wonders if he sounds _that_ pretentious when he talks about.... Everything.

"I could just go and ask Thor to check on you."

Loki lets out a bark of very unattractive laughter. "Thor wouldn't understand what I'm doing if I explained it to him with a color coded diagram."

Tony rolls his eyes and walks further into the laboratory to take a seat next to the cleared area Loki is occupying.

"You know? I think the level of douche you are to him has yet to be discovered by mankind."

Loki doesn't look at him, but he frowns a little and the brilliant, floating green blob in between his spread hands trembles a little. The light makes his eyes shine an impossible shade of green, and the sharp shadows dance hypnotically across his face.

"Nice of you to share your opinion. In exchange, I can tell you that there's not a single number in your entire system of negative values that can accurately portray how much I don't care about anything you might think."

"Right. That's why you don't show that ugly face of yours unless we have Thor drag you out of your bedroom."

The sphere wavers again, and Tony smirks. Some small part of his mind tells him provoking Loki is never a smart move, and that provoking him while he's working with magic is probably suicidal, but he shushes it, it's just there to try and rain on his parade.

"I don't leave that sad excuse of a bedroom because I rather like my head on my neck, thank you."

"Please, even without your magic to kick us around you're a powerhouse. Sure, Natasha could probably still kill you, but I can't really think of someone she couldn't kill so..."

"Your point, mortal?"

"My point, also mortal but old as balls, is that you were totally cool with murdering and conquering Earth as long as you got to go back home at the end of the day. Now you're trapped here, and you have to own up to the fact that you screwed everything."

"Is there a reason why you're here, asides from trying to talk me to death on unimportant matters?" Loki tries for unimpressed, but even with all the shadow play of his magical blob he can see the faint, angry blush in his cheeks.

"It was literally the first thing I said. You know? For an evil genius, you're pretty dense."

"I'm going to murder you right after I finish this."

"Are you? I thought your contract said your handsies were all tied behind your back when it came to harming us." He smirks and slides off the workbench he'd been sitting on.

"No, my _magic_ is restrained in regards to you and your disgusting brethren. My hands, however, are free to do as they pleas- Don't touch it!" Loki's eyes widen in panic and it's only that what makes Tony pull his hand back from the sphere. "Have you lost your mind?!"

"Maybe. So? What is it?"

"Will you go away if I tell you?"

"One way to find out, Sweetcheeks." The god's eyes narrow at the nickname, but he doesn't take his eyes from the sphere.

"It's an enhancer. A way to earn certain characteristics of an individual."

"In this case?"

"I find your 'wolves' interesting. We have nothing of the sort in Asgard. Like her citizens, her animals lack cunning and finesse." He explains with a sneer.

"... You want to merge with a wolf." Tony repeats, as if to be sure, and then, when Loki nods. "Aren't you a shapeshifter or something? Why would you use a spell to..." He cuts himself suddenly, as an idea starts shaping in his mind. Judging by the tense outline of Loki's shoulders, he's on the right track. "You can't shapeshift, can you? And your strength is not the same either."

"I wouldn't test that, Stark." Loki snarls, and the sphere between his hands is shaking in a worrying way, but Tony's having too much fun to care.

"Oh, you are so screwed once I tell the others..."

"They won't believe you."

"Of course they will. What are you going to do about it?"

And well, here's the part in which he _has_ to admit it's kind of his fault.

When he pokes Loki's side everything goes white and loud and painful, and he has a momentary flashback to the explosion in Afghanistan.

The part of his mind that had advised him to leave Loki alone makes a guest appearance and would probably smack him on the back of the head if it had a physical body. Well, who knew magic was so volatile? Wasn't Loki supposed to be a top notch sorcerer? A few taunts shouldn't have affected his performance.

However, it's finished almost as fast as it started, but his eyes take a while to adjust after the blinding white light.

He's lying on his side on the floor of the lab but everything looks... Weird. It's as if the light of his reactor has intensified and it's making everything look much bluer than it should.

"Loki?" He calls through a sore throat, but the other is nowhere to be found.

After rolling on his back a few times to make sure there's not a very pissed off god coming to murder him, he decides to get to his feet.

Only he can't.

He's on all fours and as soon as he tries to straighten himself there's a horrible pain piercing his back. He frowns and tries again and this time he does get to his feet, but he's leaning heavily forwards and there's a weird pressure on his shoulders that ends up pushing him back to the floor on all fours.

Busy as he is, wondering just _what the hell_ Loki did to him, he doesn't pay much attention to the vague sound of something raking against the floor and coming closer by the moment, until he hears Thor's voice behind him.

"Anthony? Are you all right?"

Tony restrains the urge to cry manly tears of relief as he turns around, only to have his explanation about how Loki broke everything get stuck in his throat at the sight of the massive golden wolf standing on the threshold.

He backs off, and the wolf's strangely blue eyes narrow just a second before it whines and he hears Thor's voice in his head again.

"Are you hurt?"

Loki's words come back to him, most notably 'enhancer' and 'wolf' and he wants to murder someone because his life is a bad, bad joke.

"Thor your brother ruined everything again." He complains and if he sounds a bit whiny well excuse him, he's just looked down and found his hands have become brown furred paws.

Wolf-Thor drops on his hind quarters and turns his head to the side.

"I figured. The feeling I had before I realized I was a beast was not unlike other transformations my brother has inflicted on me."

"He said it was an enhancer."

"Because his physical strength has been reduced..." Thor raises a paw that could probably crush a fifth-grader's head and stares at it curiously. "Are these creatures physically superior?"

"Kind of. Fast and smart, at least."

"Sounds like my brother, yes."

Tony feels the hair on his nape bristling in anger.

"I'm going to kill him, where is he?!"

"He is... Not here? I came to see if he was fine enough to turn us back." He sniffs around a few times and his ears flatten against his skull. "These creatures have good senses. I smell his magic, but not him."

"You think he ran away?"

"Not exactly... I doubt he intended to turn us all into... What did you say we're called again?"

"I didn't say. We're wolves. And he didn't intend to turn anyone into a wolf, he said he just wanted their attributes." Tony feels his own ears flattening against his skull and his tail curling under his hind legs. "I kind of... Poked him while he was making the spell."

Thor tries to stay impassive, but Tony can _see_ how hard he's mind-rolling his eyes at him.

"That explains it. If Loki's magic is disturbed it often has unexpected effects. He might have been transported away when you... Interrupted him."

"Which means we have to find him." He guesses.

"I'm afraid."

"Yay."

\--

There's a chorus of whines by the time the elevator opens to let them into the living room, and fuck, Tony makes a double-take because Steve looks like a giant roasted marshmallow and it's just ridiculous.

Captain Marshmallow, Bruce and Clint are dancing on their paws like they're standing on hot coals and their eyes look a little crazy, until they focus on them.

"Thor? Tony?" Steve takes a tentative step towards them, unlike Clint who all but attempts to tackle Thor. With limited success. 

"It was him, wasn't it?! Where is he?!"

Thor pushes the smaller wolf off him and his ears flatten to his skull. Tony knows he's ashamed, but he doesn't know if it's because of some doggy sixth sense or simply because everyone should always be at least a little embarrassed of being associated with Loki.

"I'm afraid one of my brother's spells misfired." He explained. "Anthony touched him while he tried to perform and it seems the recoil threw him far from here."  
Clint turns to look at him. "Why were you touching Loki?"

"To piss him off."

"Remarkably intelligent, Tony, pissing off a sorcerer while he tries to cast a spell." Bruce curls himself into a ball and Tony prays he stays that way since a fanged Hulk can't be a pretty sight. He whines a little, hoping he sounds apologetic.

"Wait!" Clint interrupts again. "Touchy touchy or just touchy?"

"Why would I even... I just poked him!" Tony snarls, and if he were still human he'd be blushing mad because it seems Thor had just taken his word for it before and now he's studying him warily as if the possibility that he'd been bad touching a murderous alien is entirely probable. Which ok, it is, but his bad touching is always consensual and limited to subjects that had tried to kill him no more than one time, no matter how aesthetically pleasing or enjoyably douche-y they were. "Can we focus on our problem?"

"Right." Steve turns to Thor. "What do you propose?"

"We need to find my brother. He knows the city, but if his magic misfired badly enough he might be hurt. Besides, he's the only one that can reverse the spell."

"Are you honestly suggesting going out like this?" If Clint had eyebrows they would be at his hairline, Tony's sure.

"Yes? With our heightened senses we should be able to find him pretty fast."

"Um... You see, Thor... Wolves are wild creatures." Steve begins. "A pack of wolves taking a walk around New York will scare the civilians..."

"And get us locked up into a zoo." Tony completes.

"Then what do you suggest?" Thor asks again, a bit more concerned.

"I say we wait for him here. Loki's smart, he'll find his way back and he can probably pass for a stray dog if he tries." Steve looks firm, but his ears drop gently. "He'll be fine, Thor. The best we can do is avoid causing further trouble."

Thor sighs (Can wolves even sigh?) and lets his front paws slide across the floor until he's lying down. "I guess you're right, friends. I only hope he doesn't get himself in..."

"Deeper shit?" Tony supplies helpfully.

"... Exactly."

\--

Loki wakes up with one thought on his mind: He's going to throw Tony Stark off the top floor of the tower again, and this time he'll jump after him if it's what it takes to finish the work.

Everything feels wrong.

There are a thousand noises reverberating in his ears and ten times as much odors saturating his nose. When he tries to stand he makes it as far as to crawl on all fours and he looks down into a puddle, only to find a long snout where his face should be.

He curses soundly in what translates to a series of snarls and grunts and studies his surroundings. He appears to be in an empty alley, with sprayed-on walls and bags of trash with a smell so foul they would've dizzied him even in his normal form. When he pokes his head around one of the walls he's greeted by the sight of an empty street with no illumination whatsoever.

His eyes are sharper now, and using only the moonlight he can see rusty train trails and half-collapsed warehouses. His ears catch the buzz of the loose power lines over his head just a second before they register the sound of multiple soft hits against asphalt. He crouches in the shadows and bends the darkness around him, taking care to use just a minimal amount of magic. Losing control now would be disastrous.

The pack of street-scarred dogs walks right past his alley... Or they would have, had it not been for one particular, long-eared mutt that sniffs a couple of times and turns to bark in his direction. The rest of the pack closes in around him, and Loki feels their hostility. He's bigger, but he's alone, and as soon as a dog big enough to give him a decent battle makes its way to the front, he chooses to go with the less toothy kind of disastrous.

The shadows he'd bent around himself shift to simulate a silhouette much bigger than his own, and when he snarls the sound is as loud as that of the two-wheeled vehicles he sometimes glimpses from the windows of the tower.

The bark of laughter he lets out after the pack has whined and fled is a literal bark, and it serves to remind him of the gravity of his situation. He has to make his way back to the tower as soon as possible, or at least somewhere he can be safe for long enough to structure a counterspell.

As if on cue, the exhaustion of the spell rains over him all of a sudden, and just before he curls over himself and lets his eyes fall closed, he has the fleeting thought that he shouldn't be as tired. Not if he had only cursed himself, at least.

\--

"Do you think I can eat this?"

"If you can open the box..." Tony rolls his eyes as Clint prances away with a box of chocolate-free cereal gripped tight between his teeth, and he returns his attention to figuring a way to pry the fridge open. Steve appears at his side with a tie in his mouth and he wants to kiss him.

Ten minutes later (who knew making a knot without hands was so hard?) they have managed to tie it around the fridge's handle and the door slides on its hinges without the slightest noise. 

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, elated. "Bring over that cereal birdie!" He barks, taking a hold of the milk bottle. At his side, one of Steve's ears perches up.

"How are you going to open that?"

"... God dammit."

-

In the end, they manage to not starve, the kitchen only looks like a category 5 hurricane made its way through, and Bruce only threatened to bite someone twice, so they count it as a success.

Now they're loitering in the living room, sprawled over couches and cushions and Tony notices he's been snarling softly to himself for the last fifteen minutes.

He looks at Steve by the corner of his eye, and finds him ripping off the corner of a cushion. The Bruce-ball across them is curled even tighter than it was yesterday night, and Clint has taken a corner of the room for himself, his back turned to the wall and the fur on the scruff of his neck standing on end. Hm.

"Guys..." He starts. "I feel... Weird."

Clint glares at him from his corner. "Really? What part of this is making you uncomfortable?"

He rolls his eyes. "Fine, I feel weirder. Like... Agitated. Can't you feel it?"

Steve pulls his head off his prey, effectively tearing a stripe of leather big enough to let a handful of filler fall out. "I do. Think it's part of the spell?"

"... Maybe." He answers absentmindedly, as a theory begins forming in his mind.

There's a tablet on one of the coffee tables, and he thanks his bad habit of scattering technology over every space he inhabits for more than a day. With his front paws over the table and three wet noses looking over his shoulder, he manages to unlock it and type in a few keywords.

He knows it's far-fetched and probably stupid of him to think of, but he searches anyways. The screen shows him a calendar with a header of black and white circles, and he feels his stomach sinking.

"... You've got to be kidding me." Clint voices his own thoughts at his shoulder. "How would he even know about werewolves?"

"Werewolves?"

Tony wants to roll over and die as Loki's plans take shape in his mind. Luckily, Steve takes it upon himself to explain.

"Uhm... It's a human legend, Thor. Like, someone gets bitten by a werewolf, and during the full moon they turn into this wolf-like... Thing, and go completely feral." He frowns. "But Clint is right, he couldn't have known and even if he did, I don't see why..."

"Because he can't shift on his own." Tony intervenes. "Don't you see it? His magic is basically harmless against us, and Daddy Odin bound him into scrawny milk-face form. Of course he would look for a way around it." He doesn't mention the rest of his hypothesis. According to Loki himself, his magic can't touch them but his body isn't restrained, which means the only reason he hasn't made a move against them is because his strength is bound as well. Odin had made sure he stayed not-dangerous by negating his shifting abilities, so the god had chosen to curse himself into something strong enough to cause harm. And he'd taken them down with him. "Bud, either your brother is really scared of us or he really wants to kill us."

"I wouldn't bet on the first one." Steve shakes his head as if fending off an aggressive swarm of flies. "So? What's this full moon thing going to do to us?"

Tony shrugs. Or he'd like to shrug. Turns out wolf shoulders aren't made for that.

"Hopefully just keep us angry and on our toes. I didn't let him finish the spell, after all, maybe the effects aren't as they..." The snarl that rips though the air cuts him in the middle of his sentence, and he feels every hair in his (now _very_ hairy) body stand on edge, trying to make him look fiercer.

If Captain Fluffy Marshmallow is anything to go by, he must look like a piss-scared furball.

Bruce's fangs are bared and coated in drool, and his whole body looks as tense as a rubber band. However, the scariest thing is undoubtedly the poisonous green hue of his eyes.

"... Brucie?" Tony tries. His only response is a deeper growl. "Ah... Hulkie, then?"

Wolf-hulk tries to take a step towards them, but his spine cracks and he falls to the ground with a bone-chilling cry.

They huddle against the wall and watch helplessly as the wolf's body contorts in undoubtedly painful poses, judging by the snarls and cries he's emitting. His spine cracks a final time, and he lies there, limp as a corpse.

"Bruce?" Tony asks again, and he's about to take a step towards him when Steve pushes him back against the wall. Bruce is trembling, and he manages to get on all fours with a bit of effort. Unfortunately, it doesn't end there, and Loki should be given a lecture about sticking to lore rules, because it's barely past midday and there's a fully formed werewolf struggling to find his balance in the tower's living room.

"This is not good..." Steve mutters, because apparently he feels the need to state the obvious. "Clint."

"Yes?"

"Stay here in case Loki gets back. Try getting in touch with Natasha or Pepper, maybe you can send a message with the tablet, like Tony did."

"Right... Where are you going again?"

Steve crouches in a way that makes him look less than a marshmallow and more like a slightly aggressive stuffed animal.

"We're going to drag him away." He turns to Thor. "I'll try and make him topple. Think you could tackle him?"

Thor's answer is to puff up a little more and crouch into a similar stance. Steve then turns to Tony. "Try getting his attention, maybe he'll follow you."

Tony wants to answer but as he's about to, Steve springs up like he's bounced off a trampoline and clings to Hulk's neck, just as Thor surges forward and crashes against his mid-section.

The disfigured wolf goes down and Tony chooses that moment to jump on his massive, vaguely human-shaped chest.

"Hey Hulkie." He tenses in preparation for another jump, and out the corner of his eye he sees Steve do the same. "Let's play tag." He snaps a bite an inch of the beast's face just before he hops off, and it seems to do the trick.

Steve and Thor join him as he reaches the end of the hallway, and the Hulk hot on their heels seems to be turning bigger by the second.

He's just gotten up on his hind legs to try and push the elevator's button when Thor pulls him by the scruff of his neck and throws him towards the stairs, right before Hulk crashes against the spot he'd been perched at.

Turns out the stairs were the best choice, since the Mega-Wolf seems to have some balance issues and by the time they reach an emergency exit he's roaring in frustration behind them. Tony can only hope his employees decide to ignore the nail-clattering and furious snarling behind the wall instead of coming to check, because he doesn't have any particular desire of getting into a fang-to-fang with Were-Hulk.

By the time they reach the street they actually have to wait for the monstrous creature to catch up, and they take the chance to catch their breath and try making a plan.

"Is there any place we can take him where we make sure he doesn't harm anyone?" Steve asks, his eyes fixed on the emergency exit.

"I think the best we can do is keep him running and distracted... What do you think buddy?" Tony turns to Thor, who's too busy sniffing around to care. "Thor? What are you doing?"

"Don't you smell it?" He asks, not looking at them.

"Man, I literally smell everything right now, what are you referring t- Where are you going?" He yells when Thor sprints away.

"I smell my brother! I'll go find him, maybe he can change our friend back before he does something grave!" He howls, and before they can even think of following he's disappeared around a corner and werewolf-Bruce is standing at the tower's exit, staring at them like they're dinner. People are screaming and cars make loud screeching noises when they brake abruptly. They have to act.

"... Do we split?" Tony asks, tensing in preparation.

"Are you suicidal?" Steve looks around, apparently searching for an emptier street to drive Hulk through. "Follow me." And he takes a head start.

Tony stays for long enough to yell taunts at the werewolf, before sprinting after him.

\--

"Nat? What's going on?" Pepper's voice reaches her through the crowd's murmur (she has apparently solved her issue of calling her for either her fake name or her less fake name by settling on a middle point, and she allows the sort of nickname because this is one woman she genuinely likes) and Natasha waves her closer.

"I'm not sure. People are saying they saw some sort of animal chasing a pack of dogs."

"Not dogs." A voice chides in next to her and she sighs. Sure enough, it's the girl she's sent on her way twice now, accompanied by her clearly embarrassed friend. "Those were wolves, I swear!"

Luckily for the girl (crowds get the best of her and she's not sure she's not going to snap at her ridiculousness) Pepper frowns and steps forward.

"A pack of wolves in Midtown?" She asks, doubtful in that polite, I'm-a-CEO-and-so-I-can't-simply-tell-you-you're-stupid way of hers. The girl's friend laces an arm through her waist and aims an apologetic look at Pepper.

"She's confused, of course they were dogs. One of them was even wearing a collar, remember?" She asks the other girl, clearly urging her to agree and let the matter be. "A shiny blue collar."

"It _had_ a collar, but it wasn't a dog, I'm telling you. It was too big to be a dog. Besides, what was the other thing, if they weren't wolves?"

"What's that got to do with anything?" She shakes her head. "Listen, we're going to be late for the Con, can we go now?"

If she wasn't currently living with two self-proclaimed gods, Natasha would praise the higher powers at the very moment the wolf-fangirl finally nods and allows her friend to drag her away. She makes her way through the crowd, pulling Pepper behind her.

"What do you think it was?" Pepper asks while they climb into the elevator.

"Loki's stuck here. Massive panic is his idea of a practical joke."

"We _did_ hear growls and barks, in case you were wondering. And I don't think Loki's illusions are supposed to dent the emergency stairs." They both turn at the new voice, and Pepper stops the door to allow Jane in with them.

"What were you doing here in the first place?"

"I came to visit. They told me the team was out and I had to wait for someone with a key." The younger woman shrugs and motions to the hexagonal key Natasha has just jabbed into a slot so that the elevator reaches their floor. "All of a sudden there were noises like, behind the walls. When they sent someone to check they came back and told us the staircase was completely wrecked."

"Huh... Weird." The doors open again, and the three of them freeze on their spots. 

The carpet is a mess, all slashed and torn, and the walls sport several claw marks. All of the ripping in the carpet lead to the emergency staircase next to the elevator.

"Jane?" Natasha pulls her gun off its holster.

"Yes?"

"Did the people downstairs tell you they _saw_ the team leave?"

"You know the answer, don't you?" When she looks sideways, Jane has a taser firmly held in her right hand and she feels as though they're both Pepper's bodyguards, as they march into the living room.

It's in an even worse state, which is not surprising. Tony's fancy furniture has been knocked over every corner of the room, there's a broken glass coffee table and a few blood stains on the carpet, and a amongst the table's remains, a tablet with bite marks all over it.

Natasha shoots a look around, just to make sure nothing's about to fall on them, and picks the tablet up. The three women back themselves up against a wall, and she unlocks it (it's just a generic password, the one they use for every public-use device).

"There's a new note." She drags and taps until the yellow textured background comes up, and her stomach feels as if being filled with ice-cold water when she reads the seemingly random and incoherent words.

_lloku dspell weolvesd_  
bruc hukl fullllllllll moonm  
they finsd lopki  
me hre 

"Didn't the girl say one of the dogs was wearing a shiny blue collar?" Pepper asks over her shoulder, and she sounds so tired and accustomed to this bullshit that Natasha wants to offer her paid vacations away from all their madness.

She nods. "And before you arrived... The other one said there were two big yellow wolves and a small brown one." She lets Jane take the tablet off her hands and takes the opportunity to rub her frown away. "Any clue as to what's happening?"

"I'm assuming the second line is 'Bruce, Hulk, full moon'" Jane reads. "A generic wolf wouldn't be able to dent the stair the way this creature did." She frowns. "And the last line.. 'Me here'? If Clint wrote this..."

"Jarvis?" Pepper asks out of nowhere, and why hadn't she thought of that?

 _"Good evening, Miss Potts"_ Comes the A.I.'s voice.

"Good evening to you too, Jarvis." Pepper smiles sweetly like she's just talking to another human being. "There's supposed to be a wolf in here. Any clues?"

_"The wolf I'm inferring is Mr. Barton is currently in the kitchen area, Miss Potts. I locked him in since he seemed to be getting increasingly irritated, I would not advise going in there."_

"I see. Thank you, Jarvis. I'll get back to you in a second." She tears her gaze off the ceiling and meets theirs, questioning. "What do we do?"

And this is her area. Well, not literally her area (since it was never established in her confidential, not really existing contract that catching feral wolves in domestic spaces was something she was particularly skilled at) but there's a plan already forming in her mind, and she looks down to check on her resources. She's met by Pepper's lustrous black pumps, her own unremarkable boots and Jane's sneakers.

"I need your shoelaces and your belt."

\--

He's made it out.

His ear is bleeding and he's still limping painfully as he makes his way through a blue-beamed bridge, trying to avoid being hit, but he's made it far enough that the street is not surrounded by warehouses anymore and there's a regular flow of cars streaming past him.

It was quite a feat, he thinks. Sure, most of the mutts didn't reach past his chest, but the big one had come this close to ripping his ear off and he's glad he thinks he killed the one that tried to chew through his leg.

Now, if he could just find his way back to that goddamned tower...

He thinks about trying the counterspell in that very spot, but he dismisses it right away. He's too tired from a fitful night and too weak from the fight and the spell (and too hungry, since he's a gods-damned prince and won't reduce himself to search in the trash) he needs to go back and maybe take advantage of his current situation by taking a chomp out of that idiotic mortal before he finds a way to shift back.

He curses himself for not taking the precaution of memorizing a city map, and sets to follow the biggest street he finds because well, it has to lead somewhere, right?

\--

"What are you doing? Keep running, he's just around the corner!" Tony jogs in his place for a second, but after a few more it becomes obvious Steve's not going to move, and Wolf-Hulk's humungous paws are already within hearing range so there's not much of a choice. He trots his way back to his friend and leans down to check on him. His breathing is labored, and his tongue is hanging out so low it's almost touching the floor. Most importantly, though, he's not looking at him.

"... Steve? Are you ok?" He asks, worried. He remembers he read somewhere about Steve's asthma, but he'd been sure that had gone away with the serum so... "Steve, I..." As he speaks, he leans in to butt him forward.

Steve snaps at the exact moment Tony's head makes contact with his flank, and Tony throws himself back when he turns around with the clear intention of ripping his head off.

"Man! What...!?" He barks angrily, but the bigger wolf just takes a menacing step towards him and then suddenly his spine is snapping. Tony has a horrible sense of déjà vu, and he sprints off even before the transformation is finished.

He hears Bruce making his way into the alley, and he winces when the two of them start a friendly 'Let's see how hard I can squeeze your neck with my teeth' competition, but he doesn't turn back. The only way out of this is finding Loki, and he hopes the bastard hasn't gone and let himself be run over by a car because he's not above Frankenstein-ing him back to life to slap him.

Steve and Bruce are no longer behind him, and he hopes they haven't killed each other. He's resting on top of a pedestrian bridge, remembering how Bruce had had trouble with the stairs before.

That's when he feels it.

It's slow at first, but he has to keep breathing, and it suddenly hits him like a ton of bricks, the smell of mint and snow and blood, and under that, of sulfur and sandalwood. He stops a little at that because he didn't even know he knew how sandalwood smelled, but that's definitively it, and the mix is utterly intoxicating and it surely shouldn´t be as attractive, especially taking the blood hue into account.

His legs are not tired anymore, and his senses have gone into overdrive because he _knows_ that scent. He just can't remember when he first smelled it.

He climbs to his feet again and takes off with renewed energy.

\--

"Now I remember why you were overqualified to be my PA." Pepper smirks at her as the door closes at her back.

Behind it, Clint seems to have gotten rid of the shoelace-muzzle, and she holds what's left of the belt-leash on her right hand.

"Really? Because I recall you deal with a lot of animals in your daily routine."

The older redhead laughs. "Not the kind you can leash and muzzle, though."

"That's up for discusion, don't tell me you've never thought about it." Natasha smiles back. She's about to take a seat when Jane tugs at her arm.

"Did you get it?"

Sighing, Natasha lifts her left hand and opens it to reveal a lock of brownish fur on her palm. Jane goes wide-eyed and her hands shake slightly when she goes to grab it, just as her voice when she declares she's going into Bruce's lab to run some tests on it.

"... What do we do now?" The cushions next to her sink slowly when Pepper sits at her side on the couch.

"Clint said the others were looking for Loki... I guess we have to wait, they could be anywhere."

"Won't they be dangerous?"

"They're always dangerous. That's why we're all locked up in here."

"You know what I mean."

"And you know what _I_ mean."

Pepper smiles and slides further on the couch. "Get some rest. We might need you to take down some more wolves."

And she shakes her head and rolls her eyes, because she doesn't _need_ to rest, but she lets herself slip into a lying position anyways.

\--

He's trying to rub the sour taste of the dirty newspapers off his tongue by means of chewing on a stick. All his royal-ness be damned, he needs a place to sleep and the cold, hard ground isn't going to cut it, not for the second night on a row.

When the worst of the trashcan-flavored newspapers is replaced by the worst of the sappy stick, he makes himself into a ball and consoles himself with the thought that at least tonight there will be no stray packs waiting to ambush him at dawn.

And of course that's the moment the stupid dog chooses to fall on him.

Loki shakes it off himself and puffs up, baring his fangs and snarling in the most menacing way he knows.

The dog just stands there with its stupid shiny collar, looking at him in what feels like confusion and embarrassment and betrayal (animals are really perceptive of other animals' emotions, he's found).

And then it speaks.

"Huh... So it was you." He knows that voice. "It... Makes sense, actually, that you'd smell like-"

"Stark?" Loki interrupts him in an anxious bark and sure enough, once he fixes his attention on it the thing he mistook for a shiny collar is actually the man's fake heart, lodged in fur that projects eerie shadows on the wall next to them.

"Uh... Yeah?"

"What are you doing here? And just what in the Nine Realms happened to you?"

Stark twists his head to the side, as if questioning him.

"You, for starters."

"... What?"

"Well... Kind of a team effort, actually. I will be the first to admit I shouldn't have poked you, but this was a bit of an overreaction." He makes his way to his newspapers nest and drops on it unceremoniously. "Also, the werewolf part? That was just douche-y on your part. I don't know if you wanted to ensure we wouldn't snap your neck while you slept or if you were actually planning on snapping ours as we did, but it's nasty. Bruce and Steve have already turned, and it better wear off before Thor does too because we have too much to chew as it is."

Loki just stares, chock-full of information, and he doesn't even care that his nest has been stolen, just that he finally understands why he's so drained.

"Please tell me you're not implying I switched everyone into wolves."

"Pretty much, yes. What does that mean?"

"For one, it means I wasted much more energy than I had originally thought, thanks to your idiotic meddling."

"And you mean that in an 'I'm totally able to turn you guys back' way, right?"

"I mean it in an 'I'm going to need much more rest than I thought' way." He snarls and noses him until he's halfway off his newspapered area. "Now keep watch so I can sleep."

-

Tony groans as he's pushed, but in the end he pulls himself into a sitting position. Honestly, keep watch for what?

He turns to ask his question out loud, but it gets swallowed by a different one when his nose catches a whiff of something.

"Is that blood on your ear?"

"Yes, thank you for noticing."

"What happened to you?"

He waits for approximately five minutes (fine, five seconds) before he notices Loki's not planning on answering, so he does the next reasonable thing and pokes him insistently (he seriously _needs_ a better way of getting that jerk's attention) on the side, until he prompts a groan out of him.

"I don't think you understood what I meant when I said I needed rest."

"Yeah, you weren't sleeping, now answer. What happened?"

"I got into a fight with a pack of dogs." Is the annoyed answer.

 

"How many?"  
"I don't know, Stark! I was fighting, not counting." Loki curls tighter around himself, covering his face with his bushy black tail, and looking so tired Tony has a spare second in which he feels a bit sorry for causing the accident. "... Maybe ten or twelve."

"And you took them down all by yourself?" He asks, reluctantly impressed. And then, because he can´t just compliment Loki. "And you only managed to only nearly lose an ear, pretty good."

"Shut up, Stark." Loki's hind leg shoots up to kick him, but he's pretty sure there's a toothy, annoyed grin hidden in there somewhere.

-

He wakes up with a mouthful of black fur and a cold nose digging in his side.

"Loki."

"Hm..."

"Get off me."

"Hm?"

"Would you wake up?!"

"Would you stop screaming?!" The bigger wolf shakes and groans and it's all uncomfortable and annoying until they manage to untangle themselves from each other. "Did it somehow occur to you that sleeping on my injured leg would make it heal faster?"

"Cut the crap, will you? I wasn't even remotely close to your stupid leg, I slept on your other side." Which is not completely true, since he´d only noticed the ear injury. But still, he´s pretty sure he didn´t sleep on any of Loki´s limbs.

"Why did you even sleep next to me? You were supposed to be keeping watch."

"Maybe I was tired as well, ok? Besides, I just laid down, _you_ were the one that got all over me." Tony bares his fangs at the accusation, but apparently Loki deems him unworthy of arguing with at such an early hour, and he turns to inspect his wounded leg and well, it _is_ the one Tony was closer to. Awkward.

"You give yourself too much credit." He mutters. "You should get us something to eat."

At this, Tony lets out a bark of laughter. "If you haven't been digging through garbage for food, what makes you think I will do it for you?"

"Maybe the fact that I will rip your throat off if you don't get me food right now."

"And when you've killed me, how will you get back to the tower?"

"I believe I'm smart enough to find it on my own." Loki gives him a grin and crouches slightly. Tony stares at him right in the eye and sits back down. "I'm not kidding, Stark."

"Go ahead." He answers calmly, and doesn't even flinch when Loki's huge white fangs are snapping an inch from his eye. "You need a breath mint, Balto."

Loki snarls once more, but goes back to his place. "I always knew you were suicidal."

"Am I? As far as I know, I'm still alive."

"Well..." However, whatever Loki's about to say is abruptly cut by a sound Tony knows well enough to act on reflex. "Run!" He slams against him and prompts him to move towards the narrow end of the alley just as the beasts appear at the entrance.

Bruce is at the head, but he's promptly shoved aside by a creature almost as big as him.

Tony stays on his spot for exactly enough time for Were-Steve's eyes to focus on them, and his mind goes into overdrive with just one thought: He has to get them away from the one person that can turn them all back.

"Wait here." He barks, not knowing and not caring if Loki heard or not. He probably understood his tone. Almost on instinct, he jumps on the dumpster on his right, and uses his newly gained height to leap over the werewolves' heads.

Surely enough they're at his tail the moment he touches ground, and he takes off.

He loses track of how many blocks he speeds past almost immediately, and his only focus is keeping his tail and paws out of Bruce and Steve's reach. Out the corner of his eye he spots an empty playground, and he changes directions so quickly the werewolves behind him trip over their feet and skid across the asphalt.

By the time they reach him he's already found his way into the depths of the jungle gym and he's barking incessantly at them, hoping they'll take the bait.

Were-Steve tries first, probably not accustomed to this new body's imitations.

Tony waits until the last minute before edging back, and Steve howls in frustration. After a moment of slight hesitation, Bruce tries to go in as well and he wants to break out dancing because his plan worked. He makes sure both werewolves are fully inside the gym before he crawls out.

The werewolves snarl and bark, but their limbs are too long, too stocky, and they're completely trapped, at least for the moment.

Tony takes a last look at his teammates and sprints back the way he came.

\--

Loki's sick of waiting by the time he registers the sound of paws against the ground. He gets moving, intending on meeting Stark... Only to freeze on his spot when a massive, hand-like claw grabs the edge of the wall.

The rest of the creature comes in sight not a second after, with its fangs bared and dripping drool and its pointy ears leaning menacingly forward. It gets on all fours, and it looks awkward, with its long arms and short legs, but Loki looks at his eyes and a faint glimmer of hope flickers in his mind.

"Thor?" Then, when the monster snarls back. "Snap out of it, it's me! We need to get back to that pathetic excuse of a tower to-"

Of course, he reasons. Thor is deadly on the best of days, turning him into a supernatural creature with greater than life strength _definitively_ just makes everything worse.

The claw slams against his face without a moment's notice, and it's just his luck that when he lands he does so on his bad leg. Pain shoots through the limb and even though he manages to get up, his movements are slow and agonizingly shaky, none of which are his preferred forms to face his current situation.

Thor takes another step towards him, and Loki feels his fur puffing as he crouches and lets out the loudest snarl he can muster. Having a dog trying to tear his ear off had nearly taken him down, who says it won't work on Thor?

He's still working out how he's going to manage to reach as far up as the Thor's head on a wounded leg when the monster raises on two legs and lifts his claw again, and he knows he's done.

Then, everything gets confusing.

Thor lets out a roar and staggers back, shaking frantically. It's not until he drops to all fours again that Loki nearly sighs in relief when he notices the dark-furred mutt on his back. The diversion doesn't last long (in fact, Thor shakes Stark off in less than five seconds), but it's enough time for Loki to snap a destabilizing bite at the werewolf's hind leg and drag himself away as fast as he can.

"Down there!" Stark barks somewhere near his ear, and Loki follows him on the limited speed of his three good legs.

Of course, when they reach the subway entrance gravity takes its toll on his already compromised balance, and he ends up rolling down the stairs and past Stark in a mess of paws and tail and grunts.

The subway is already leaving the station, and Loki hears Were-Thor trying to come down the stairs behind them.

"Come on, we need to get in!" Stark's teeth cling to the scruff of his neck and Loki has no choice but to drag himself up and follow him again, leaning heavily against him. When the automatic doors start sliding closed, Stark's plan becomes clear as day and he redoubles his efforts, trying to ignore his now thrice injured leg. Thor's hot breath on his heels is a good incentive, though.

They reach the subway just in time, and Loki's leap is so close he feels the door puling on his tail's hair as it closes.

He pants and lets himself fall to the floor. Two or three humans try to get closer to get a look at 'that poor dog', but he keeps them away with a snarl.  
Stark comes to stand over him in a protective stance he finds completely irritating.

"Are you ok?" He asks, his ears leaning back against his skull. It takes him a moment to process that he´s worried about him.

And that's all he needs to snap.

"I am a warrior, Stark. A king, even! I've held my own against ARMIES, survived a fall through the veil of Universe itself! You're truly ignorant if you think a mere beast can harm me so easily." He knows it's impossible, since he lacks the necessary features, but he can swear Stark is giving him that infuriating unimpressed look of his, disbelieving eyebrow and everything.

"So? Are you ok or not?" He takes a few steps and turns to lie with his side pressed against his back.

He'd go for a dramatic rant again, but he's lying on his side on the floor of a subway car practically cuddling with the most annoying human he´s ever met, right next to an elder woman cooing and throwing him chicken strips, and he's running out of pride. "Do I look ok?"

"I'd say you look damn fine, but I'm not sure on where that ranks in the bestiality scale since you're a wolf, or if it gets automatically annulled since we're technically both animals."

"You're such a level of idiot it's not even funny." And well, he might be a prince and all, but those chicken strips are delicious, and if the weight at his back is a bit reassuring, he doesn´t comment on it. At least he´s safe, for the time being.

\--

"Any news?" Pepper turns off the T.V. at Jane's question, and turns to look at her.

"People are reporting sightings of 'monsters'. Apparently they haven't hurt anyone. Yet." She explains. Jane nods and scurries into the kitchen to fix herself a drink. Pepper goes in after her. "And you?"

"Well, that furry friend Natasha locked in the bathroom is definitively Clint." She raises her glass as if toasting the third woman, and Pepper smiles. The redhead leashing the shoelace-muzzled wolf with her Gucci belt is not something she'll forget anytime soon. "I inspected its DNA. It's completely human, it's just... not in a human body."

"So they're not really wolves?" One of Nat's eyebrows quirks up, and Jane shrugs with the air of a person that has long since resigned.

"Who says magic makes sense? If the spell is making them all go crazy, we might have to go looking for Loki ourselves. Assuming he didn't go crazy as well, of course."

"You mean crazier?" Nat smirks. Pepper smiles and slaps her shoulder softly, before looking back at Jane.

"If he _did_ go crazy.... What are we going to do?"

"Thor told me once..." Jane starts, and waits until both their stares are on her to continue. "He told me in Asgard magic and science are considered the same thing. Maybe there's a way to turn them back without Loki chanting around a blood circle?"

"Well, let's hope there is, because-" Nat stops talking so abruptly that Pepper thinks she might have bitten her tongue or something (before she remembers she's a goddamned spy and doesn't undergo moments of common clumsiness) and she's about to ask her if she's all right, when she raises a hand to shush them both. "Listen." She instructs.

At first there's nothing except the muffled sound of wind ever-present in tall buildings, but after a moment, they hear it.

The sound is so unmistakably a wolf howl that Pepper gets goosebumps. It's surreal, to hear that cry in the middle of the day in mid-town Manhattan, struggling to be heard over the city's cacophony.

The three of them rush to the window, and they're so far away that the two dark shapes are almost unrecognizable.

"Jarvis?"

_"Yes, Miss Potts?"_

"Could you use the external cameras and get us a close up of that corner?"

_"Right away, Miss."_

"I'll go get something to watch it." Jane is back in less than a minute, with the tablet they had found Clint's message on. The howl repeats itself in what it takes for Jarvis to sent the feedback into the tablet, and there they are.

A big black wolf with a droopy ear and an ugly limp, and a smaller, brown one with what Pepper immediately recognizes to be the arc reactor.

"... How do we know they won't pull a Clint on us?" Jane points the obvious out.

"... I guess we can't know." Nat opens the kitchen's drawers, and comes out with a wooden rolling pin. "I'll go check."

Pepper wants to argue that she can't go alone, but Nat makes her way to the elevator so fast she doesn't get a chance to.

"... Jarvis be ready to call animal control, ok?"

_"Of course, Miss Potts."_

"You'll send your boss to the kennel?" Jane asks, impressed.

"Have you got a better option?"

\--

Tony wants to cry when Natasha walks out of the tower. In fact, he's so happy to see her he doesn't even care about that rolling pin she's probably going to beat him to death with.  
He takes a step towards her, but she raises her weapon and he stays where he is.

"We've got no time, you know? You basically told the beasts our exact location." Loki mutters sullenly behind him. He forgives him, that leg really looks like shit.

"Go ahead if you want, I'm not going anywhere near her while she's threatening me with that rolling pin."

"Tony?" The woman asks, and he snaps back to attention. "Is that Loki?" He nods enthusiastically, but Natasha only frowns a bit. "Clint is inside. He tried to attack us. How do I know you won't do the same?"

He's got no way to directly communicate with her, but he shakes his head from side to side and takes a few steps back to point at Loki's bad leg, hoping the message is clear. 'I won't hurt you, and he _can't_ hurt you'.

"Can you reverse this?" She asks again, this time directly to Loki. He nods once and gets to his feet with effort, holding the bad leg up. The way he looks at the top of the tower is enough of a hint of what he wants. "Fine, then... You go first."

She escorts them across the street and into the lobby, and Tony's got to give his employees a raise, because none of them even bat an eyelash at the crazy redhead taking a pair of wolves into an elevator.

Once the doors have closed, she directs them to huddle together on a corner of the closed space, and her grip on the rolling pin gets firmer.

Tony doesn't want a smashed skull, so he lets his front legs skid over the floor until he's flat on his belly, and then on his side. After a second, Loki follows his example, but his pointy ears are still held high in defiance. This could easily classify as the most awkward elevator ride ever, and he's thankful when the doors finally open.

The penthouse looks just like they left it, which is obviously a mess, but he couldn't be happier to be back. 

As they walk down the aisle Pepper emerges from the living room and he barks happily, raising on his hind legs to give her a sort of hug.

"Curious... I thought the spell was set to 'wolf' and not 'domestic dog'" Loki grunts behind him, but he honestly doesn't care.

"I´m sure it's just another of your magic's shitty features, it's fine." He drops off Pepper and continues down the corridor. At some point, probably after Jane joined the chase, Natasha does ask him where he's heading, but he ignores it (or he doesn't, he just has no way of answering) and they end up following him into his office.

"Tony? What are we... Oh." Pepper seems to catch his idea when he springs back on two legs and uses the front ones to tap on his exposition table. The surface comes alive and he passwords his way into a new blank note. Just as he'd thought, the enlarged keyboard is just the right size for his paws.

 _'Thor and Steve went nuts'_ He types. It's a bit slow at first, having to write one key at a time, but at least it's error-free.

"We figured. People are calling the police." Jane quips in. "Why didn't you too go crazy as well?"

Tony looks back at Loki, but he's curled on himself, literally licking his wounds. Besides, he doubts he'd be able to get up and type himself with that leg of his.

"Yeah, why?"

The black wolf looks up, and he reads annoyance in his stance. "When you poked me, I was in the process of structuring the part of the spell that would have allowed me to shift like they did and retain my conscience." He explains. "I couldn't finish, because of you. The spell is incomplete and therefore full of loopholes."

"But why didn't we shift and lost our minds like them?"

"I didn't shift because I've guarded myself against very specific side effects of spells, one of which is losing my ability to think. If I lose my mind I lose my chance at fixing myself. As for you... I guess it had something to do with the fact that you were the closest to the place where the spell was cast. Whichever few clauses against mindless ferocity I managed to weave in did reach you fully, but only reached the others in a lesser measure."

Tony nods and sets to type it down.

_'He fucked up and the spell hit harder the further we were from him.'_

"And you were...?" He avoids Natasha's stare, but Pepper's is just too much for him.

_'Down at the lab with him.'_

"Why?"

_`He´s funny when he´s annoyed.´_

Natasha rolls her eyes and Tony remembers how much he hate her ability to read people.

"Sure, we´ll go with that. And what did you do?"

_`I bugged him a bit and he sort of lost his cool?´_

"We have to talk about your life choices again, Tony."

And he figures he´ll just say it, Pepper knows anyways and he´s pretty sure Natasha has already figured it out. _'In my defense, when I said I wanted to fuck with him I meant it in the literal, not wolf-involving way.'_

Pepper rolls his eyes. "How is that even a defense?"

"He tried to kill you. Almost did." Natasha frowns down at him and he hurts his back trying to shrug in vain for like the sixth time in two days

_'I survived. Besides, you threaten bodily harm to me on a daily basis.'_

"Please tell me you don't want to sleep with me."

"Stark, what the fuck are you telling them?" Loki starts getting up.

"Tangents, it's nothing!" He mutters hurriedly.

_'I value my safety.'_

"Which is why he doesn't know?"

_'Yes, thank you,'_

"Why are we discussing Tony's sex life while there's a pack of werewolves loose in the city?!" Jane snaps and Loki's on his feet so fast Tony wonders if he's been faking the limp all this time.

"What are you all talking about?" He snarls.

"Nothing!" Tony jumps on the table and lies over the text when the god tries to read. "What do you need to reverse the spell?" He grins, and his ears drop down on their own. Cowards.

Loki stares at him for what feels like forever, before he rolls his eyes and goes back to lying down. "I need to rest. And food. I should be fine enough to reverse it tomorrow."

Tony takes the chance to delete the current note and open a new one.

_'He demands food and sleep. I'd recommend some antiseptic too, but maybe it would be wise to wait until he can do it himself.'_

Pepper sighs. "I'll go find you two some meat."

"I'll check on Clint... Maybe he's calmed down" Nat mutters and gets to her feet. 

_'Careful.'_ Her lips curve slightly at his text before she leaves. Jane steps out behind them and comes back a second later with two thick blankets she arranges on the floor. She gestures for Tony to come back to the table.

_'I can check on his wounds when he's asleep, if you want.'_

_'I thought you hated the guy.'_

_'Don't we all? Besides, he's my boyfriend's brother and they're both pretty much immortal. Adapt or die.'_

_'Smart girl.'_

She laughs and he allows her to scratch him behind the ears (So what? There's no one watching, and it feels nice.) before she leaves for good. He might doze off a bit because he kind of wakes up at the sound of Pepper's heels thud-ing on the carpet and the smell of the roasted meat that overwhelms her perfume.

 _'I'd lecture you about feeding fancy cuts to a pair of dogs if I wasn't so hungry right now.'_ He types drowsily, and Pepper rolls her eyes.

"Fine, I'll bring the canned deal."

_'Would you do that to your adorable, charming boss?'_

"My adorable, charming boss has really been earning it." She smirks. "Have some rest, we'll wake you up tomorrow morning."

After she leaves, he nudges Loki until he gets a drowsy grunt in response, and when he's finally raised his head, pushes one of the plates next to him.

"Got you food."

"Your woman go me food. You have absolutely no merit on it." Loki squirms and stretches carefully to grab a steak.

"Pepper is her own woman, calling her any other way is not doing her justice. And I asked her to bring the food, Natasha would probably have let us starve to death." He looks up with a grin that promptly morphs into an expression of disgust. "God, you're not even tasting it. Aren't you supposed to be a prince? You know... Table manners?"

"If Thor can be excused of them every time he sees food surely I can be one time." Loki grunts through the last bite of his second steak.

"... I wonder how the big guy's doing. All of them, actually. If they hurt someone they'll probably never forgive themselves."

"Never forgive _me_ , you mean. But I don't think so, for the time being they're focused on hunting us."

"Why is that?"

"No idea." Loki noses the empty plate away and curls his paws under him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I'd rather you don't, but you're going to do it anyways." Loki answers with his eyes closed and a hint of amused irritation.

"Why did you do it?"

A green eye pops open, genuinely amused. "A question that can be applied to nearly any of my latest choices."

"I mean this, actually." He noses his on plate away and gestures at himself with a paw. "Did you really intend on killing us?"

The eye closes again, slowly this time. "Think what you will of me."

"I was just kidding when I said I'd tell them, you know? We're under orders of not harming you, you don't need to protect yourself from us. Look at me, I crossed the city looking for your whiny ass."

"No, you crossed the city because you were chased by mindless beasts and you happened to stumble into me."

"I drove them away from you when they found us."

"Unnecessary, by the way."

"Yeah, try with 'thank you' " He grins.

"Go to sleep, Stark."

Tony chuckles when Loki shifts to show him his back. After a moment of silence, he stands to drag his blanket next to him, and curls into a ball facing (but totally _not_ spooning) him, resting his chin on his bony hip. If the alien is offended by the contact, it doesn't show (he probably isn't, right? What with the cold room and everything) and they fall asleep in peace for a change.

Of course it makes sense that they wake up to absolute chaos.

-

What wakes him up is the sound of Pepper's voice raised in a scream, and he's on his feet in a second.

It's dark outside, he figures they've been sleeping for maybe four or five hours, but he hears the sound of heavy claws tearing at metal and he springs to attention. He looks questioningly at one of the room's cameras and prays he made an outstanding work with Jarvis.

_"It seems Mr. Barton has shifted completely, sir. The door to the room he's in is locked, but I'm afraid it's starting to give in."_

He barks a thanks.

_"You're welcome, sir. Be careful."_

The door before him opens and he steps into the hallway as silently as he can. By the time he gets to the living room Pepper is no longer screaming, but rather teaming up with Jane to push a couch against a bent door.

"Where's Loki? He needs to revert the spell NOW!" Pepper yells when she sees him at the threshold. "Nat's in there with him!"

And Tony's pretty sure he's pale under all his fur because there's no way Natasha's still breathing if she's locked up with Were-Clint.

_"She has taken refuge inside the bathroom, and I've secured the door."_

"That's perfect, Jarvis." Pepper turns to him again. "Go get him!"

Tony's about to comply, but when he turns the elevator doors at the end of the hallway make a screeching sound as they're forcefully shoved open and he can't help but to admire the werewolves' dedication, if they climbed seventy odd floors through the elevator shaft just to murder him.

Were-Bruce climbs out first and he contemplates having a heroic death by tackling him back in the shaft and bringing them all down with him. Instead, he retreats into the living room and barks at the cameras until Jarvis closes the door.

"Please don't tell me we're trapped here." Pepper groans, pulling slightly on a lock of her hair. Tony just stares in a way that he hopes can convey something similar to 'I can't exactly tell you anything right now but you get what's happening.'

"A little help here!" Jane screams, trying to hold the couch against the door that's already coming off its rail.

"Jarvis, wake Loki up!" Pepper goes to push as well and Tony wants to tear something apart because he's completely _useless_.

That's when the door gives in and Were-Clint shoves the couch (Jane and Pepper included) across the room.

He takes a stand between them, crouching. Were-Clint is much smaller than the others, but the size difference is still considerable and Tony's perfectly conscious that the most he can do is buy time. Also, that he doesn't particularly want to kill Clint, but the werewolf has no such qualms.

However, just as he's mentally saying his goodbyes, he sees Natasha sneaking out of the bathroom with the shower curtain and a tattered belt, and he thinks maybe he has a chance in hell.

\--

_"Mr. Odinson? Please wake up."_

Loki snarls at the name, more a reflex than a conscious thought. His back is cold, and he wonders where Stark went.

_"Mr. Laufeyson, then. Please, it's urgent."_

Loki snarls harder and he honestly doesn't know which one he likes the less. The third time the A.I. speaks with even more urgency than before.

_"Mr. Loki, we're under attack. I'd rather like it if you woke up on your own but if you don't I won´t hesitate to turn on the emergency sprinklers!"_

"Under attack, you say?" Loki raises his head, and when he's met with silence he remembers the computer has no way of understanding him. Luckily, it seems to get the message, and he has a spare second to be amazed at Stark's handiwork.

_"Mr. Stark is trying to hold Mr. Barton still for long enough for Miss Romanoff to restrain him, but I'm afraid they're trapped in a room with him and the rest of the team is trying to bring the door down and I don't think it'll last much longer."_

"Damn-" He cuts his words abruptly, when the door bends in with the sound of nails raking on metal. He looks up the way Stark does when addressing the bodyless voice.

 _"That would be your brother, I'm afraid."_ The voice informs him in a quiet murmur, and Loki thinks of the beautiful irony of it.

For all his insistence that Thor stops taking such an interest in his affairs and calling him a brother, he hadn't imagined these would be the circumstances it would happen in, or that Thor's indifference towards him would probably kill him.

He's too weak to cast the counterspell, too unprepared. But the door's caving a bit more with each of Thor's rough shoves and he's got no will of abandoning the world of the living as a pile of minced dog meat.

He closes his eyes and reaches inside himself, until he's deep in the flow of magic in his veins (it should be a river, undeterred and wild like himself, but ever since Odin's barriers have been set it's no more than a stream leaking from a dam.) and when he looks again his eyes meet Thor's and he notices he didn't even register the sound of the door breaking down.

Well, if he's going out anyways...

The blast of magic shakes the building and, for a second, the top of the Stark Tower shines a poisonous green.

\--

Tony wakes up very cold, very confused and _very_ naked, straddling Clint who's in equal conditions and whose only decency is the makeshift hood of shower curtain secured with Pepper's belt around his neck.

"... Why am I naked?" He hears him mutter through the thick fabric. "Also, who's on me? I have a lot of questions right now."

Natasha's holding his head on her lap, and she smacks it softly. "You're the worst tempered dog I've ever seen."

Clint squirms under him.

"This is something sexual, isn't it? Not complaining in the least, I just want an explanation."

"You don't remember anything?" Tony arches an eyebrow as he climbs off him and goes to help Pepper and Jane to their feet.

"Bits and pieces. I couldn't eat chocolate and I was suddenly _very_ angry."

"That about sums it up. Think about it."

"Where are the others?" Jane makes her way to the door carefully, as if not completely convinced that it's over so fast. "Thor? Are you ok?" She calls.

"He's not here." Bruce's tired voice comes through. "Jarvis, could you open the door?"

"Could you not, Jarvis?" That's Steve, and Tony lets out a laugh. "Is everyone ok in there?"

"A bit tied up, but sure." Clint has finally managed to undo the bindings on his arms, and he's working on the belt.

Pepper's moving the couch back on its feet with Natasha's help, and he's about to offer a hand (he's got _hands_ ) when something clicks in his mind.

"What do you mean Thor's not there?"

"Ehm... That he's not?"

"Jarvis, open the door." The battered metal slides up to half its rail, but it's enough for Tony to go through and sure enough, the only living souls behind are Bruce and Steve, both covered in grime and mud and sporting some lovely, bar-shaped bruises Tony figures came from his scheme at the jungle gym. "Did you see where he headed off to?" He asks them again, with a sinking feeling already forming at the pit of his stomach. "Jarvis?"

_"At your office, sir."_

"Fuck." Is all he says before he takes off.

Thor's sprawled on his back, half-in half-out on the threshold like he'd stepped in and then been knocked back. Jane leans over him to try and wake him up, but he catches sight of an immobile lump protruding from behind the desk and he jumps over Thor's fallen body.

Loki's lying on his belly, his face buried in the carped and when he manages to turn him over he has to hold a breath because without all the fur he honestly looks like crap. There's dry blood caked on the side of his face, and his leg is not only sporting an uglier-than-ugly bite, it's also swollen and might or might not be broken.

"Hey, wake up." He slaps him softly, but his face remains slack. A set of heavy steps resonate on the carped behind him, and Thor's looking over his shoulder. "Is he ok?"

"... He certainly doesn't look ok, friend..." Thor mutters, frowning. He stretches to rest a hand on Loki's pale forehead. "I'm no expert to his magic, but-"

"You're no expert to anything that doesn't involve smashing around with that stupid hammer. And take your paw off my face." Tony doesn't exactly flinch, but when Loki speaks he looks like a talking corpse and the only natural course of action is letting go like he's been burned. "Nice, Stark."

"Sorry." He looks at Thor and he's sporting such an expression of relief that he finds himself relaxing as well. "You need to get that leg checked." He smiles down at the fallen god.

"What I need is to get rid of you, you seem to be the bane of all my plans and I'm frankly starting to think you're somehow the real punishment in my sentence."

"Hey, your magic stick was defective, it's not my fault you couldn't control me."

"Is it not your fault that you thwarted my spell either?"

"That's debatable, you shouldn't have been doing that spell in the first place." Tony smirks, and Thor clears his throat next to him.

"I'll go get some clothes for us, brother, we need to have your wounds checked."

"It's just a broken leg, I'll heal it." Loki complains half-heartedly, but Thor's already out the door and being victim of Jane and Clint's cat-calling.

"Yeah, I'd still get the rabies shots if I were you." Tony climbs to his feet and Loki weighs a ton, but he manages to pull him on one of the couches. "Next time you're bored just go for a walk, ok? I can't even begin to understand how you thought turning yourself into an unstable wolf-beast was a suitable form of entertainment."

"My sense of humor is too refined for you mere humans." Loki rolls his eyes. "Also I think I've seen enough of your city, thank you."

"You get my point."

"Just leave me alone, Stark."

\--

If he's to be honest, the bed's quite comfortable, even without the furs he's used to wrap himself in to ward off the cold. Still, he's irritated. The cast in his leg is itchy and completely unnecessary (Of course he can heal himself. Just not now, he's too tired.) and the fact that it completely binds him to the bed doesn't make anything better, much less when the door to his chambers open.

However, his mood goes from 'completely fed up with your over-the-top attentions' to 'borderline irritated but slightly interested' when the figure at the door is much smaller than what he'd been expecting. And carrying an armful of books.

"There. Entertainment. No weird-ass magic for a while, please." Stark drops the books on the bed, for once careful of his leg, and turns to leave.

Loki himself is surprised when his hand clamps around the human's wrist, halting his movement.

"What is it?" Stark asks from over his shoulder, and he lets go.

"Nothing. Thank you. Now leave me alone." The words come out hurried and tripping over each other, but the mortal seems to get it.

The smirk is irritating, and he'd punch it off his face if he could stand. Seeing as he can´t, he lets the mortal walk away for now.

"I'll be back later."

"No, thank you."

"By the way..." He turns at the threshold, sporting a shit-eating grin.

"Don´t ruin the gesture, Stark."

"I thought it´d be rude to mention it with Thor there an everything, but you´ve got a nice ass there. A bit skinny, but-" The cushion Loki throws hits him right on the face, and his laugh echoes across the door as it slides closed before him. "Get better!" Is the last he says before his footsteps fade away.

Loki rolls his eyes and sets to sorting through the offered books. 

The first one is titled "A dog's life", and he can't help the laughter that bubbles through his lips.

He settles down on his pillows with a resigned voice at the back of his mind muttering about how he might like the mortal a bit too much, and definitively much more than he wants to admit.


End file.
